Let's Talk about Laurie

Hit me with a frosting shot

2008-07-23T12:25:20Z

I remember hoarding frosting when I was a kid. I'd eat the cake and save the frosting for later. "Later" wasn't much later, though, because I could never wait to eat the best part. Plain buttercream (well, margarine cream in our family), chocolate, Mom's brown sugar frosting--I loved and love it all except those stupid coverings that are all air and fake ingredients and that I don't consider to be real frosting.

I'm glad to find out I'm not the only unabashed frosting lover: Some bakeries now sell frosting shots! That's as in shots (small portions) of frosting. By themselves.

The article quotes a customer of Sprinkles Cupcakes in Beverly Hills as saying, "You order the cupcake but you really want the frosting." So true. I've often said I just eat the cake to get to the frosting. It says a customer at Kickass Cupcakes in Somerville, Mass., was glad to find she could "order a cupcake but hold the cake." Yes, somehow these bakery owners are tapping into one of my secret fantasies.

Some people have told me eating frosting straight would make them sick. I only wish it would have that effect on me so I could avoid the long-term effects of all those fat and sugar calories. I'm in trouble if local bakeries start offering the shots, and so is anyone who gets in my way!

Midsummer veggie (and saltgrass) report

2008-07-11T22:05:39Z

Is it midsummer? I'm calling it that.

I planted the seeds in our planters May 31, a month and a half ago. I thought we'd have lush plants by now and possibly even things we could eat. I hate to admit it, but I don't have much more than tiny seedlings so far. I've had to plant lettuce three times just to get a handful of tiny sprouts.

I had been hand sprinkling the planters every day since I planted the seeds, even after I finished the drip system. Then we left town for six days. To my surprise, more seeds sprouted in the absence of my hand sprinkling! So much for keeping the soil evenly moist.

The potted tomatoes thrived while we were gone, too. We moved them in off the patio and put them in the tub in the hall bathroom (the one with the skylight). We put an inch of water in the tub and closed the door. When we returned, this is what we saw:

Yes, not only were the plants fine but a tomato had decided to ripen while we were neglecting it! It was yellow when we left. The bathtub was dry, and the soil in the pot was moist. I wonder if that means we should leave two inches of water if we leave for two weeks.

I was pretty excited about harvesting our first tomato, even though I'm not a tomato lover. I expected Phil to enjoy it, but it's still sitting on the counter. Oh, well. I plan to try the next one myself, within minutes of picking it. I want to decide for myself if it lives up to the hype that homegrown tomatoes get. Of course, maybe they'll stop ripening now that we've moved them out into the sun and started hand watering them again.

Remember I said I was worried about the salt grass when we planted the garden. It took about five and a half weeks for the first blade of it to emerge from the surface of one of the planters.

The anemic-looking inch-high seedling on the right is supposed to be a sunflower.

The next day, more saltgrass poked out of one of PVC pipes Phil installed to hold hoops for covers. Here is a view from directly above.

This is not good at all. This grass has roots all the way to base of the beds and who knows how far below and how far laterally. The only way I know to kill saltgrass is RoundUp, and even that isn't a sure thing. I know commercial farmers use that in their fields, but it's not something I wanted to do. Pulling it just breaks it off at the surface, and it's impossible to dig out all the roots.

I am having serious doubts about being able to eat anything from our garden beds anyway. If our plants don't have a serious growth spurt pretty soon, there's no way there'll be anything edible by the end of the season. Anyone have a good saltgrass salad recipe?

Prettiest planters

2008-07-04T08:53:56Z

Something caught my eye as we were streaking down I-5 between Salem and Eugene the other day. Was that a purple tree?

It takes a lot to get Phil stopped between point A and point B, but I made him stop.

Yes, what I had seen was a purple tree made entirely of petunias. It is at the entrance of the Woodburn Company Stores.

Here is a close-up view of one of the pink trees.

I looked up inside the tree and saw what looked like 5-gallon pots perched on a metal frame. That partially explains how the trees are constructed. I'd like to know how they get the petunias to bloom so heavily!

Beezzz

2008-06-17T13:14:39Z

My desert false indigo bush (Amorpha fruticosa) is buzzing with bees, which is something I've never noticed before. (Normally it just attracts butterflies.) It's quite a sight, and I have to share these pictures.

I've had the bush for many years, and it has done well in my salty soil.

Letter savers and sharers are my heroes

2008-06-11T18:29:46Z

Are old letters headline news? Reno Gazette-Journal editors think so; the main story on page 1 Monday was "Brothers' tragedy is history's treasure." The article is about letters written by Hosea and Ethan Allen Grosh, brothers credited with discovering the Comstock Lode in 1857. Charles Wegman has recently sold the collection, containing more than 80 letters, to the Nevada Historical Society.

Wegman, 47, a great-great-great grandson of the Groshes' brother, Warren, stunned historians by disclosing the letters' existence in 1997. In April, the Nevada Historical Society celebrated the end of a 10-year fundraising effort to purchase them, paying $210,000.

Wegman sold the letters below their appraised 1998 value of $228,000.

I agree with the importance given to the story, and I agree that old letters are a treasure. Letters are the second best way, next to diaries, to get to know people who died before we were born.

As a family historian, I don't like to think about all the old letters people throw away. To some people they have no value because they never knew the writers. To me, letters, photos, clippings, and similar items are the only way I have to get to know family from the past. The loss of these items is tragic and I mourn them.

I'll never know what letters (as well as photos and related items) family members have "cleaned out" because they considered them worthless and because it never occurred to them they might have value to someone else. Or it was too much trouble to give them to someone who would cherish them. It's too depressing to dwell on the losses, though. Instead, I appreciate what I do have.

I think my oldest letter (actually a photocopy) was written by my great-great-grandfather Valentine L. Spawr Sept. 6, 1858, from Cedar Falls, Iowa, to his friend back in McLean County, Illinois.

About 30 miles above here on the west fork of Cedar there is plenty of good timber. There is no settlement there atall. We took Claims there and there is good chances yet for others.

I don't know whether his friend joined them in Iowa. They didn't stay there long; my great-grandmother Clara was born in Kansas a year later.

It must have been really hard for mothers in Europe to see their children leave for America. In most cases they never saw their children again, much less their grandchildren. I love this letter from my great-great-grandmother Mary Ann (White) Spencer in Stroud, Gloucestershire, England, to my grandfather (her grandson) in Athelstane, Wisconsin.

Sometimes old letters help us connect with historical events. My Norwegian great-grandmother dictated in Norwegian to a student who could write in English to my Aunt Florence in 1945--

According to your cards your family has taken great part in the war. But I hope they shall all return healthy and unhurt to their homes. (Today we got good news: Japan will give in!) And peace is not far away!

She writes later in the letter--

I have no economical troubles. The loneliness is worse than all. I wish that one of you could come to me here in Norway, and stand here until I am gone. Please, try to do that!

Florence, dear! Ask Elise [her daughter, my grandmother] whether she can't write to me, and tell me how she is doing.

When my great-grandfather Seehawer's brothers and sisters wrote to him from Germany in the early 1900s, they bragged about how prosperous they were and scolded him for borrowing money from their father and having legal problems in America. Here's a sample from his brother in 1904:

I have received your letter, and I have not found anything positive in it. All the misfortune you have had is indeed terrible, but you receive [insurance] just like we do. . . . You will receive not 180 Dl but 200 Dl. But write first what you actually want to do with it. Every time when you received money you promised you would buy something. So far you have not bought anything. . . .

Well, you will receive the money. It is from your [share of the] inheritance that our parents have left in their will. The capital will not be paid to you until after father's death.

And 1908:

I received your last letter and I understand that you are not doing too well, because I can imagine how one feels who does not earn enough to provide for his family. I have read in the newspapers that you have hard times. But that it is so bad, I would not have thought. . . .

Times here have changed considerably. Wages have increased much during the last years. We spend up to 80 Thaler per year for a maid. Many Russian workers are hired because of the labor shortage. Nowadays, people also use machines. Almost every owner has a reaping machine. I bought one this summer.

1915, from a sister:

Well, the whole world is at war. As you know, Germany is supposed to perish, but, so far, God has been on our side and will continue to help. Our dear Kaiser wanted to avoid great bloodshed, but our enemies thirst for blood. . . . Germany is able to take care of herself pretty good. That became clear with the war bonds. Against all expectations money accumulated, and if asked for more, we will manage that, too. . . . America has strongly supported our enemies, if not for that maybe it would be over. The enthusiasm was very great, everybody flocked to the flag, young and old.

Then in 1920:

We do live one day at a time because of the unknown. The word is going around that we this month become part of Poland. . . .

One thing is for sure, we're going into a bad time--our money is almost worthless . . .

From then on, every letter contained a list of what various items cost. Another sister wrote in 1922--

You Americans are now the fine people in the world, and your dollars have great value here. Many people here do get dollars and packages with great many useful things and do receive great help through this.

A niece wrote in 1923:

Write to us please soon from that happy dollar country.

From one of the sisters in 1923:

Dear Brother, I would like to ask you if you could help us out with a few dollars--there are many people here who do get some dollars from their relatives in America.

This is the last of the German letters. I have no idea whether my great-grandfather sent any money; perhaps the fact none of the letters said "thank you" is a clue.

My favorite ancestor writer (who beats out even Valentine Spawr, who kept a diary during the Civil War) is my Grandma Spencer. She wrote prolifically, including poems and essays, and had an irreverent sense of humor. Here's an excerpt from a 1930 letter. A 32-year-old wife and mother of five on a farm in northern Wisconsin, she writes to her younger sisters "Jim" and Matilda in Chicago--

By the way, Jim, this is just a plain dun. If you can spare the cents will you please try and get Joe Joe a little sweater for age 2 yrs. And Mathilda you can please get him a pr. of soft soled shoes size 2 & a pr. of white stockings. And I suppose you have already got your new Easter bonnets so send me one of your old ones. I guess that will be all for this time. Just a few items eh!

Well, I suppose I have to tell you all the whoopee news around here. . . .

1st. C__ L__ goes with ___ ___, when she isn't with ___ ___ or ___ ___ or any number of others. . . .

___ ___ and ___ ___ got under the weather the other night, run in to old John's fence, knocked it down, of course that wasn't much of a job!

A few weeks ago I opened an envelope from my cousin Kenda and found a letter my mom had written to her a few months before she died in 1979; in it she wrote all about how all of us kids were doing. It was a precious treat to bask in the glow of Mom's positive (of course) report about me 29 years after her death--thanks to someone who saved a letter and was thoughtful enough to share it.

I could go on and on with samples of letters, but you have indulged me by reading this far. Let me wrap this up by thanking all the thoughtful, generous people who save old letters and share them with those who will appreciate them. I owe the following individuals for the letters quoted here:

Verda Gerwick, descendant of Valentine Spawr's friend, letter from Valentine Spawr
Aunt Elaine Olson and my cousin Mary, letter from Mary Ann Spencer to Ralph Spencer
Aunt Florence Diehl, letter from my great-grandmother Olea Næss
Debbie Unger, letters from Germany, and another cousin for translating them all
Debbie Unger, letter from Gertrude Spencer to "Jim" and Matilda Seehawer

I know how lucky I am to have these and other letters. I want to believe the people who save and share old letters outnumber the ones who toss them in the trash.

Vegetable garden is planted!

2008-06-01T14:31:44Z

Farmer Phil did all the hard work in April, then we had 96-degree weather for a while, and then the temperature dropped 40 degrees and we had wind and thunderstorms. But in the past couple of days, I finally got the right parts for the drip system, put it together, and planted the seeds!

This photo shows some of our challenges. The grass in the foreground is salt grass, which is so tough and aggressive I have seen it growing through the sole of an athletic shoe. We applied RoundUp and laid down newspapers on the bases of the planters before adding soil and compost, but I'm not hopeful the grass won't pop up in the beds in the near future.

Another challenge is watering--I still need to connect my drip hoses to the old lawn risers. I'm making multiple trips with a watering can for now, so I'm motivated to get that taken care of.

Let me tell you what I've planted:

Bed 1--sunflowers, carrots, spinach, mixed lettuce, beets, broccoli.
Bed 2--corn, onions, cantaloupe, watermelon, potatoes, more carrots, nasturtiums.
Bed 3--beans, peas, potatoes, lots more carrots (each seed is only one carrot, right?).
Pots on patio--tomatoes and strawberries surrounded by marigolds.

I haven't actually planted all the broccoli, greens, beets, and carrots yet; I plan to plant a few more each week so they'll be ready to eat at different times.

I planted seeds for everything but the tomatoes and strawberries (and "seed potatoes"). I have never succeeded in growing anything from seed before, so it's hard to believe much will come of this. I have so much to learn. But it feels good knowing everything's planted. And I might, just might, have gotten the timing right. Our weather seems to have settled into a normal pattern for this time of year.

I guess I'll be obsessed with the weather now--just like a real farmer!

Retailers, returns, and rebates

2008-06-01T14:03:29Z

I hear that "Home Depot takes everything back." That's great. Every customer likes knowing it will be easy to correct a purchasing mistake. But a liberal return policy has a downside.

Phil and I were shopping for drip hose at Home Depot last week. (He's finished building the planters, but I haven't finished the drip system yet! Blush.) He picked up a roll of hose and put it into the cart. I looked at it and questioned whether it really was 100 feet as labeled.

Returns

We spent some time comparing it with other rolls and noticed it was rolled differently (stripe facing the opposite way) and the label was attached with a wire tie rather than stapled like the others. The more we looked at it, the more we suspected someone had bought it, cut off the length they needed, and returned what was left.

By then an employee heard us arguing and got involved. A second employee joined us, hefted a couple of rolls, and declared that the roll of hose in question was definitely lighter than the others. I shared my theory about the roll being returned with some of the hose missing, and they said that made sense.

Phil and I chose one of the larger rolls. The employees put the short roll back on the shelf for a less-observant customer to buy.

Now we have two dishonest parties: the thieving customer and Home Depot. Home Depot's employees, for whatever reason, (1) took the altered item back without questioning it and (2) put it out for sale without marking it as "short" or marking down the price. I know this isn't an isolated event. Phil is always finding parts missing out of kits that have been opened. Buyer beware.

Rebates

I bought a George Foreman grill at Kohl's because of a rebate offer that would return $10 (half the purchase price) to me. But my rebate request came back to me in Saturday's mail! Even though I'd sent it by the deadline, the envelope was marked, "Box closed." I marched into Kohl's with it yesterday. For insurance, I repackaged the grill (which I'd used and washed) to return if I couldn't get satisfaction on the rebate. I was planning to write this blog entry about returns and rebates with an ending along the lines of "Don't buy the grill! It's been used!"

However, the woman in Kohl's customer service couldn't have been more helpful. She immediately offered to give me the rebate on the spot, so I came home with my $10 as well as with my grill. I love good customer service, and I'm still a loyal Kohl's customer.

Home Depot? I had to return some unused, unopened drip system parts there tonight, and it was great to get my money back without a hassle. I'll still shop there, but I'll be taking a good, hard look at everything I buy.

Like the pain, this story never seems to go away

2008-05-19T21:52:34Z

Phil's sister's son, Jim Cathey, was killed by a bomb in Iraq Aug. 21, 2005. He had only been there a month.

The pain felt by my sister-in-law and the rest of her family is unbearable, unending, and unimaginable. She told me once that Jim had told her he was fighting the enemies there so we wouldn't have to fight them here. I don't necessarily agree, but it gave her a way to try to make sense of his death and I would never argue with her about it.

Jim's wife, Katherine, lived in Brighton, Colo., and that's how a Rocky Mountain News reporter named Jim Sheeler became part of this tragedy. He was writing a series of articles about the Marines whose job it is to notify families of deaths. He wrote about the Marines notifying Katherine in Colorado and my sister-in-law in Reno of Jim's death. He continued covering the story as Jim's body was flown into Reno and the funeral held. His articles are one of the few places I've seen any photos of caskets of soldiers killed in Iraq.

The stories have seemed to take on a life of their own. Parts of them were reprinted in Time magazine. You might have seen and remembered one of the photos. Taken at night (by Todd Heisler), it shows the coffin in the lighted cargo hold of the airplane with passengers visible in the windows of the passenger compartment above. Sheeler quotes the Marine: "They're going to remember being on that plane for the rest of their lives. They're going to remember bringing that Marine home." It still gives me chills.

The photo was one of Time's "best photos of 2005" (if you visit the link, it's photo #18). The articles won a Pulitzer prize and an American Society of Newspaper Editors award.

Last week I learned Sheeler has published the story as a book, Final Salute: A Story of Unfinished Lives. This evening I picked up the current issue of The Week magazine and discovered Jim's story excerpted from the book there.

My sister-in-law's family closely guards its privacy, but they were open with Sheeler. I hope the flurry of publicity about the book does not cause them new pain.

My first thought when I learned about it was cynical: How many more ways can that reporter exploit the sacrifices of the soldiers and the pain of their loved ones? But another thought followed: More power to him for bringing attention to the sacrifices and pain. Until everyone gets it, we will keep sending our young sons, brothers, husbands, fathers, grandchildren, and nephews into wars without thinking about the real cost.

Lovey-dovey

2008-07-04T08:55:39Z

I love doves.

This year a pair has decided to nest in a planter I have hanging on the patio screen. I planted verbena in it last year, but I'd much rather have the doves.

A couple of reasons not to fight aging

2008-05-04T21:06:12Z

For age is opportunity no less
Than youth itself, tho' in another dress
And as the evening twilight fades away
The sky is filled with stars, invisible by day.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

"Not to be able to grow old is just as ridiculous as to be unable to outgrow childhood." Carl Jung.

The superiority of messiness

2008-05-02T13:16:59Z

The spring issue of Northwestern Mutual Life's magazine, Creative Living, contains an article by Sheryl Seyfert about last year's book A Perfect Mess: The Hidden Benefits of Disorder by Eric Abrahamson and David H. Freedman. (Sorry, I wasn't able to find a link to the article.)

One of the benefits of unorganized time, according to the article, is that procrastination increases efficiency. Procrastinators don't waste much time working on things that turn out later not to be necessary or important. That's true; I've proven it many times. In fact, the author quotes Freedman as saying, "It's bad prioritizing to do things right away." I love it!

I'm proof that messy people usually know right where to find specific items. Abrahamson and Freedman, according to the article, say that when naturally messy people try to organize things they forget where they put them.

They bring up a big problem I have with professional organizers: the advice to get rid of anything you haven't used in a year. I hate to get rid of anything if I think I might ever need it. (And I'm miserable when I do need something I've gotten rid of.) The article quotes Abrahamson as saying, "If you did that, you'd wind up throwing out your fire extinguisher because you haven't had a fire in a year." Bravo!

The next book I hope to see is one about the superiority of night owls over early birds. We night owls have been made to feel inferior for far too long.

More on the GI diet

2008-04-30T18:39:41Z

I don't want to beat this to death, but I've found another interesting article on the GI diet.

The Canadian Trial of Carbohydrates in Diabetes put people with Type 2 diabetes managed by diet alone on high-carbohydrate, high-glycemic-index(GI); high-carbohydrate, low-GI; orlow-carbohydrate, high-monounsaturated-fat diets fora year.

The results: "Body weight and HbA_1c did not differ significantly between diets.Fasting glucose was higher (P = 0.041), but 2-h postload glucosewas lower (P = 0.010) after 12 mo of the low-GI diet." [My emphasis.]

The researchers concluded long-term HbA_1c was not affected byaltering the GI or the amount of carbohydrates. However, because of sustained reductions in postprandial glucoseand C-reactive protein, a low-GI diet may be preferred for Type 2 diabetes. Does that mean they think it's better to have low blood sugar two hours after eating than fasting blood sugar in the normal range?

This doesn't seem to give much incentive to worry about the GI diet.

I hate the "should's"

2008-04-29T18:53:16Z

In the rare times when I've plowed through all the things I have to do--and when I've selfishly taken the time to do the things I really want to do, I still have a big pile of things I should do waiting for me. Sometimes I hate the "should's" even more than the "have to's."

The "should's" are by definition things I don't especially want to do. They are unpleasant or boring or stressful or difficult. Or I know they will take a long time. Or they require decisions. (The first decision is where to start: There are so many of them I don't know which to do first.)

"Should's" usually don't have deadlines, but, again by definition, there might be unpleasant consequences if I don't do them. Sometimes the only unpleasant consequence is I would consider myself a bad person if I didn't do what I thought I should do.

Some of the "should's" are here all the time. A few examples are exercising, filing, and trying new recipes. It's always easy to put those off.

My current "should's" range from having the oil changed in my car to writing letters to aunts. I took time to work in my yard this afternoon because I wanted to and saw a whole season's worth of things I should do out there this year. I'm running out of time to plant the vegetables, so soon that will change from a "should" to a "have to." I know many other gardening "should's" will be abandoned by the end of the season.

Tonight I should pay some bills and answer some family history correspondence. Mail won't go out until tomorrow, so that's a good excuse to put off the bills. Normally working on family history is something I want to do, but responding to this correspondence is going to require some research and some work (figuring out how to create a file of just one branch of the family), so I've been putting it off. I'll be mad at myself if I don't get at least one of these "should's" done this evening if something comes up tomorrow that I have to do. That's how my "should" pile got as big as it is now.

I hate the "should's."

Ready to throw out my glycemic index books

2008-04-25T21:11:22Z

I've come across an article about the glycemic index that raises doubts for me after swearing by it for the last few years. Glycemic index (GI) is defined in the article as "a scale applied to foods based on how quickly the glucose in foods is absorbed into the blood stream, relative to pure glucose." The concept can be used to lose weight, according to the Glucose Revolution books, and it is incorporated into the South Beach Diet.

I've bought the book and cookbook by Jennie Brand-Miller et al. and tried to follow the concepts. I've avoided white potatoes and eaten sweet potatoes until I couldn't stand them any more. I've favored proteins, trying to choose low-fat ones. I've justified eating ice cream by claiming it has a low GI. I've pigged out on nuts.

This new article, however, implies that you can't count on the GI! It says testing at the at the Jean Mayer USDA Human Nutrition Research Center on Aging at Tufts University showed variations in GI values of 42 percent in individuals eating the same food at different times. It also showed a wide range of values among different individuals. (For purist readers, it was a small study with only 14 participants.)

I know the GI uses averages, but until now I had no idea how wide the range of values was. To me, it makes choosing foods based on the GI meaningless. I could be thinking I'm eating something with a low GI value when my blood sugar could be shooting up just because of who I am or when I eat.

The researchers, of course, plan to do more studies. However, this small study is enough to disillusion me. To tell the truth, I had already drifted away from the GI diet. In the past year and a half I have lost weight by following two general principles: eating the freshest/least processed food possible and eating less. Period. Following these principles, I have not worried about whether individual foods are good or bad, low fat or high fat, protein or carb, low GI or high GI. As far as I'm concerned, this article gives me permission to throw my GI books out the window and keep doing what I'm doing.

Don't expect me to keep up with fashion in the garden

2008-04-24T12:00:50Z

I came across a feature in the April Sunset magazine called "Garden buzz: What's happening in gardens and what's not." To my surprise, it had two lists headed "in" and "out." "In" and "out" in a garden?

Yes. It says single-plant containers are in; overstuffed containers are out. Really. I've done both over the years depending on the plants. I'll keep doing it. Here's the only container I have so far, and I think it's pretty.

"Soothing spring greens" are in; "brassy orange with hot pink" is out. Darn. I guess that means brassy orange with hot pink used to be in, and I missed it. Oh, well.

Solar lighting is in; tiki torches are out. Huh.

Meditation spaces are in; wedding cake gazebos are out. OK--but I'd love to have both.

I'm drawn to English cottage garden style, so I've always thought of gardening as timeless--and fashionless. Do the Sunset editors really expect readers to rip out all their brassy oranges and hot pinks and replace them wtih spring greens this year regardless of their preferences? Or are they simply reporting that that's what their readers have already done? Whose tastes change that much that quickly?

Weirdly familiar hairdos

2008-04-22T19:33:39Z

I've always been interested in the wives of polygamists; I've wondered why they tolerate husbands who won't commit to being faithful while expecting them to. I liked the novel Watch for the Morning by Elisabeth MacDonald, which seems to give a historically accurate view. (The women in the book have mixed feelings about the practice but feel they have no choice about it.)

So of course I was interested when Texas officials recently entered a polygamist compound and removed all the women and children (later letting the women return). The whole country has been gawking at the photos of these women who seem to come from pioneer days. They all seem to be wearing long dresses sewn from two or three 150-year-old patterns. Definitely unusual.

But what I noticed immediately were the hairdos! Everyone else has been commenting on the hair styles, but they're strangely familiar to me. They are exactly like the hairdos of the women in the religion in which I was raised, "The Truth." "The Truth" does not and never has been involved in polygamy, but its standards for women's appearance are frozen in time like those of the Yearning for Zion compound. In fact, members of "The Truth" were called the "Black Stockings" at one time because until the 1940s all the women were required to wear them. The women don't wear makeup, and, like the FLDS (Fundamental Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints), they use the Bible quote about a woman's hair being her crowning glory as the reason for not letting women cut their hair (but for some reason requiring them to pin it up).

See what I mean: Here is an article (with a photo) about the polygamist compound hair and dress styles, and here is another article (with a photo) about Muriel Erickson, a minister in "The Truth." I went to Sunday morning meetings in Muriel's parents' home when I was a girl.

I don't know where I'm going with this entry. I guess I just wanted to comment on learning that I have something in common with a group of people that until now has simply been a curiosity to me. Or at least I had something in common with them until I left home.

High class muumuus?

2008-04-22T13:00:24Z

Everyone was thrilled when Dillard's came to town. It's supposedly the highest class store we've ever had in Reno.

That's why I was surprised when I was reading the paper this morning and saw muumuus in a Dillard's display ad. Didn't middle-aged women wear them around the house when we baby boomers were kids? Weren't they called "house dresses," too?

I can't believe a high class store like Dillard's is selling them now! But wait. They're not muumuus now. They're "patio dresses." If you don't believe me, go to dillards.com and search for "patio dress." Check out the high class prices, too.

Sorry--they still look like something you'd wear with slippers and curlers.

Things

2008-05-04T21:06:41Z

"The real cost of a thing is the amount of life which is required to be exchanged for it." Henry David Thoreau.

"The real price of every thing is the toil and trouble of acquiring it." Adam Smith. (I would add "storing it, moving it, and disposing of it.")

"It feels just as good to get rid of things as it does to acquire them." Laurel Busch.

Guess Sears hasn't heard about the credit crunch

2008-04-15T13:07:39Z

Don't believe what you hear about credit tightening up.

In our mail yesterday was a letter from Sears containing a new Gold MasterCard for my father-in-law and one for my mother-in-law. They have a credit limit of more than $9,000, and the cards are good until 2011.

Phil's dad died in 1980, and his mom died in 2003. Sears used our address because we handled my mother-in-law's paperwork at the end of her life.

Since I've been doing Dad's paperwork, we've been receiving junk mail for Mom--who died in Southern Nevada in 1979. Most of the mail is from Sears.

Assuming the reasons for unanswered messages

2008-04-10T19:06:03Z

I'm the queen of making an "ass" of "u" and "me" (ass-u-m(e)-ing). For example, when I call someone and leave a message, or when I send someone an e-mail message and don't get a reply, I assume the person I hoped to hear from has chosen not to respond. I refuse to beg for a response, so I hardly ever try again. And I often hold a grudge against the person who didn't answer.

This happens fairly often in my family history work and in my job search. With family history correspondents, I sometimes spend quite a bit of time researching a thorough reply for someone and send it off expecting a "thank you" for my help. I'm offended if I don't hear anything. In my job search, I have been contacting former co-workers about references and job leads. I hate to impose on people, and if for some reason they might not want to help me the last thing I want to do is force them to be phony or say no to me. If I don't hear from them, I assume they don't want to help me. I don't try again because I don't want to harass or embarrass them. I can't force them to help.

Being compulsive as well as a grudge holder who assumes too often, I try to eliminate the possibility that the person somehow didn't get my message or I somehow missed the response. With Caller ID, I know for sure whether anyone has tried to call. With e-mail, I've assumed that if I didn't get an error message my message was delivered.

I found out in the past week I was wrong to count on error messages:

Example 1. On March 14, an English woman who found my family history site wrote about a possible link to my family. I looked up the information I had and wrote back promptly. I received an error message saying "user unknown." I had simply replied to her message, so I knew I had not typed her address wrong. I assumed she was rude enough to close her e-mail account immediately after requesting information from me.

Normally I would have classified her as a "stiffer" and forgotten about her. For some reason--maybe the fact it didn't make sense for someone to close an account like that--I noticed the rejection message a couple of weeks later and tried again. I got this response: "Many thanks for coming back to me. I have just installed Mailwasher and it must have marked your e-mail as potential spam as the address was unfamiliar." Wow. That made me think. How many times have I received "user unknown" messages when that wasn't the problem at all?

Example 2. I have a cousin who hasn't been in touch for more than a year, even though I've sent her things every once in a while. I wrote to her again a month ago and still had no answer. Then I received a message a few days ago: "I'm still having trouble off and on with my other email so am trying this one." I tried her new address and heard back from her right away. I had never received an error message from the bad address. I had just assumed she was choosing not to write back to me.

Example 3. The other day I received an e-mail message from a German cousin I'd been waiting to hear from: "Several times since more than one week I tried to send you a mail with approximate 13000 kB. Always I got the message could not be delivered because the user's mailfolder is full. What is the problem?" To make a long story short, my mailbox limit is 10 MB, and he had exceeded it by attaching ten very large photos. Ten precious old family photos that I was thrilled to receive after I figured out what the problem was and arranged to receive them. What if he had assumed I was being rude when he got the error message and didn't try to contact me about the problem? It was a humbling experience.

There's a lesson here, but I'm not sure exactly what it is. I still don't have a good way to tell whether people have received my messages, and I still hate to be in the position of begging rude people to be polite to me or harassing possibly reluctant acquaintances about helping me find a job. But I think the first thing I need to do is stop assuming they are choosing not to respond.